Put yourself in the other person's shoes before you sell, write, present, negotiate, coach, or relate, so your communication feels more relevant, lands more clearly, and builds stronger trust.
Prefer to be guided?Marc was shy and introverted when he started selling on the streets at 18. He learned scripts, practised role plays, and still faced rejection again and again. Then his mentor gave him one question that changed how he approached communication.
Marc had been looking for the right words while watching his own performance. His mentor moved his attention towards the person standing in front of him.
"Instead of just thinking about what to say all the time, think about what the other person really wants from you."
What should I say, do, create, or craft?
What does the other person really want from me?
Second Positioning means putting yourself figuratively in the other person's shoes before you communicate. You step outside the natural "me me me" point of view long enough to notice what may matter to them.
Consider what they want, fear, need, care about, and have the energy for right now.
The mindset is not about guessing harder. It is about paying attention and adjusting when you learn more.
The words, questions, and actions improve after the place you are looking from has changed.
Communication becomes weaker when it is built only from the sender's world. The message may sound polished and still fail to connect because it ignores the receiver's goals, problems, or current state.
Stuart Tan asks the audience about their goals, challenges, questions, problems, and pain. He then adapts the presentation around what they tell him.
He does not begin with what he wants to present. He first finds out what the audience needs from him.
During difficult financial conditions, an audience may be focused on surviving. Repeating a dream-life message can miss them because it speaks from a different world.
The question is not whether the dream is attractive. The question is whether the message recognises where people are now.
Someone arriving after work may be tired, drained, or still thinking about the day. A speaker who jumps straight into content can lose them before the message has a chance to land.
Acknowledging their state and helping them settle creates a better starting point for the whole interaction.
The same idea can land very differently depending on the person's goals, problems, and energy in that moment.
Before deciding whether your message is good, ask whether it meets the person where they are.
The question in your head directs your attention. When the question changes from your desired result to the other person's point of view, your communication starts to change with it.
"How do I create a successful book launch?"
"What would make someone more likely to buy my book?"
"How do I negotiate for more flexible meeting times with my boss?"
"What would motivate my boss, and what would be the benefit for my boss?"
"What should I write for my prospect to reply to me?"
"What would motivate my prospect to read my message and say yes to me?"
Second Positioning is the mindset. If you want a simple way to return to it before an important interaction, Marc's State, Ideate, Evaluate sequence can help you pause and change your point of view.
It is not the main idea or a result you have to produce. It is simply a compact reminder for the moments when you notice yourself returning to "What should I say?"
Step out of your usual frame of mind so you can see beyond your own goal.
Consider what may matter most to the other person in this moment.
Look at what you are about to say from their point of view before you continue.
Choose one conversation, post, presentation, negotiation, coaching moment, or personal interaction coming up in the next 24 hours. Before you decide what to say, pause and notice where your attention has gone.
Second Positioning becomes useful when it leaves the page and changes the way you enter ordinary moments with other people.
Better communication begins when you stop looking only from inside your own goal.
Their goals, problems, and energy shape what feels relevant in that moment.
Ask what the other person really wants from you whenever your mind returns to "me me me."
The AI Implementation Toolkit helps you slow down, consider the other person's world, and carry Second Positioning into one real situation. It supports the practice, while the mindset remains yours to build through repeated use.
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